Taking Note...

26/Feb/16

My stomach is so odd the last few days. I guess it's not really my stomach more my bowels... So I'd rather not go into the details more so for your sake. There's no major need for me describe it, other than highly uncomfortable, feeling constantly hungry, but also not hungry, the thought of "could it be dehydration" passing through your mind more than three times a day, and cramps and twists and bloated and just constantly running to the loo cause well... Yep no need to go into it.

Obviously when something isn't right with the bowel, your instant action should be to increase your fibre intake which is what I did. Then your water intake. But when you do those things and nothing changes what are you meant to do?
You say "ah sure it'll be grand ta fuck"  so that is what I just did for another two days. Then when it occurred again today I got annoyed. Even more so when I noticed the pimples across my cheeks spreading even more so across my cheeks. I know I know, how could I fussing over pimples?
Hear me out. I can totally handle the pimples. Yea sure there's a good few, and yea my consultant refers to it as acne, and yes you are right thinking are they a side effect of the cyclosporine. So I've been handling it, applying my creams, upping my skincare routine - now that I can. But I don't have to be positive all the time, there are no rules saying " you've to get the bus to happy land 24/7.

Just want the discomfort to go.


1/March/16

Bowel discomfort is kind of easing off, spent most of my weekend and week when Ive been at home curled up on the couch. Have had literally no energy, and felt nauseous the last two days. On top of that aunt flo is due, so even if the bowl stuff eases off everything will just kick off again cause of that. 


1/March/2016

11.27 PM

We figure all the bowel and digestive discomfort has been a side effect of my cyclosporine dose being increased. 

(25 FEB /  2 MARCH 2016 )

Review // Ziaja Skincare

A few weeks ago, the lovely people behind Ziaja Skincare sent me a few products in the hope of giving me some relief. They found me via Instagram and understood the grief my skin was putting me through, they sent me the products in pure goodwill only hoping for me to find relief, nothing else. Recently, I've met a few people in the beauty industry who have been so helpful and generous to me , it's really quite lovely to receive help in such an industry, without feeling forced to buy what they're showing you, so I am extremely grateful.

Now, back to Ziaja, if you have sensitive skin like myself and haven't heard of Ziaja, it's about time the you're let in on the secret. Ziaja Skincare rules by the mantra 'focus on skin'. They've a wide range of products that are all completely backed up with a serious amount of scientific and dermatological research as well as modern technology. All their products use minimal amount of ingredients as possible, excluding the harsh ingredients like SLS, parabens and chemicals, and I swear to god their products actually work.

Most recently Ziaja have released the Dermo Cosmetic range that aims to relieve the symptoms of Atopic Dermatitis. The products can be used on babies, children and adults with varying stages of AD and those suffering with dry and sensitive skin. The range aims to intensely moisturise, soften and reduce the roughness of skin, as well as reduce itching, burning and even redness! The best bit is that the creams will also build up the skins natural bacterial flora to improve your skins own natural defences. Out of the products they kindly sent me, Ive used the Atopica Body Lotion and Atopica Body and Face Oil the most. I'm still using sample sachets daily and my mum has put the anti-aging products to good use. 

The Body Lotion and Oil says on the bottle that it hopes to soothe and calm angry and inflamed skin while reducing the itch, and its totally true. When I received the parcel and started using the moisturiser, I had for some unconscious reason had stopped applying topical steroids to my body. The lotion alone kept the worst of the itch at bay and I could see a genuine change within two weeks on my torso and thighs from the lotion alone. Its thick enough that I feel like its helping my skin, and the best bit is that it is not greasy! My main problem before this moisturiser had been that I couldn't find a cream that is thick, but isn't greasy, that it would calm the inflammation but isn't almost a water like consistency. Thankfully Ziaja found me and really has helped in making my dermatitis a bit more manageable.

The oil is fantastic too, my only issue on first using it was that it said it shouldn't be used near the eye area which made me worried if it would sting like nobodies business, Fortunately I took a deep breath and chanced my luck and it was fine. The night I first used it, I had had an allergic reaction to something I had eaten and my right side of my face was swollen, roaring red and hot. The oil left my skin feeling smooth, which was so nice to feel that it had taken away the small dry flakes on my cheeks as I am not meant to exfoliate. What I particularly like about the oil is that it lathers up into a foam when you add water and start to cleanse. Its the little things yanno. Ideally you should use a cotton face cloth or muslin cloth if you have one when using the oil, it'll make the whole experience so much nicer.

So there you have it, a cream and oil  that actually does exactly what it says it will do. I would certainly recommend this to anyone who is suffering from sensitive skin and is searching for a cream that will do all of the above. Ziaja do a lot more products, you only have to visit there site
 Ziaja Skincare to view all of them, if you want to order any of their products online I'd recommend using  Original Beauty.ie 

      

x

UV Therapy // Part 2

So first of all, to answer everyones question of what exactly is UV therapy, this post will be solely about the the types UV rays that exist, and how they effect the skin and the type of treatment I am doing. So what is UV therapy?

UV therapy is like a sun bed. But it isn't. Basically.

Thats how I've been describing it to friends and anyone who asks me about it. However, the difference between the sunbed you might be using down in your local tanning place, and the magical UV booth that I'm using is that all the harmful stuff, like the UVA and UVB rays are controlled. I hear you say "the hell are those?". Well, I've just gone ahead and done a quick FAQ about it all...

What is UV light/radiation?

Ultraviolet Light is what is omitted from the sun and is made up of UVA and UVB wavelengths or rays. The stuff that makes you tanned and sunkissed during the summer. 

Thats all well and good, but what is UVA and UVB?

Well let me tell you...

> UVB rays are short, powerful and harmful rays that affect the outer layers of the skin. UVB causes sunburn and produces melanin, which gives people a tan. It also damages DNA in the skin, which causes skin cancer.

> UVA rays are long rays that penetrate deep into the skin. UVA damages the skin causing wrinkling, sagging and premature aging. It may also have a role in causing skin cancer.

How does this apply to light therapy though, is there a difference for the therapy?

Yes, actually there is. There are two types of light therapycalled broadband UVB light therapy and UVA light therapy...

>BroadbandUVB therapy has  been used to treat skin conditions since the 1920s. Eczema treatment involves standing in a light box three times per week for a total course of 20 to 30 treatments. The length of the first treatment is determined by a MED light test, after the length of each treatment increases until the skin becomes slightly pink, but never burnt.

>In order for UVA light therapy to be effective, an oral medication, psoralen, is taken an hour before the treatment to make the skin more sensitive to the light therapy. This combination of psoralen and UVA is called PUVA phototherapy. PUVA eczema treatments are given two to three times per week for 12 to 15 weeks. As with UVB, the length of exposure is increased gradually, and weekly maintenance treatments may be given after the first phase of treatment. Some people are unable to tolerate PUVA because of nausea from psoralen.

So what type of of uv therapy are you receiving? 

I am currently receiving UVB light therapy! This is my second course of light therapy, and its going a lot smoother than my first time during the Summer of 2015.

Will you do another post on your experience of the magical light booth? 

Yes. Yes I will 

x

UV Therapy // Part 1

Hi there, I apologies its been so long since I've written an actual blog post compared to an instagram update, but here I am! I've good few posts in my drafts and up my sleeve so stay tuned. For now, Im going to be addressing my UV therapy and answering any questions I receive about it. 





About 6-7 weeks ago I started my second attempt at uv therapy. After several extreme long lasting and actually physically painful flares I had truest felt fed up. Up until the end of September I thought I'd get through anything my dermatitis had to throw at me. After getting through Easter of this year with my "monster face" phase, the only way I know how to describe it- I truly felt I'd be fine. 

That was until the dermatitis spread. Spread onto my tummy, my back, my shoulders and the crevices of my wrists. And once again like my toddler years behind my knees. It was sore. I would wake up in the morning unable to move my arms without discomfort and fear of tearing open cracked skin. I wouldn't be able to move my neck to the left or right for several days without wincing. My hands would be stuck in a claw or fist form until o heavily moisturised them. The worst to me was that I felt like it was coming back on my face, no matter how much protopic I was putting on I would wake up still feeling as if it was getting worse. I felt like I had taken a thousands steps backwards without an explanation or warning that it was going to happen. 

After one morning waking up commenting to my parents I wish I could go to A&E knowing they'd wrap me up in moisturising bandages and place me in a cocoon of comfort, we all felt something real had to be done. So I began to attend an immunologist in blackrock. They did every test they possibly could on me, but to no avail revealed any information we didn't already know. 

The events that followed resulted in a lengthy conversation with my consultant about immunosuppressants. The only, and final approach, to relieving my body and mind from the dermatitis. ( I'll discuss the immune suppressants in another post ) after discussing my options, I didn't feel mentally or emotionally ready for such drastic drugs, especially since at the time the weeks to come were hellish and stressful with deadlines , with the end of a project in college. I wouldn't have been able to cope. So a course of uv therapy seemed the best option. 

x

Making Face // I Am Not My Skin

Skin. My skin, your skin, every last thing on this planet has some form of a skin, a shell layer that protects all the soft, important bits of our makeup. Skin. The largest constant working organ of your body. Skin. The one thing you have to wear all day everyday. A layer you can't replace with a better, shiner version of itself. Your skin is part of you, but you are not your skin.

Everyday when I wake up the first thing I do is look at the mirror and examine my skin. 

           "Oh, a new spot here cause of the new cream to heal the dermatitis there"

It's a constant battle with dermatitis or acne alone, but add It with an ongoing mental struggle to try see the positive in what seems like the worst situation of any young woman or man can be hard.

There's a campaign on Irish TVs currently promoting people to talk about mental health, and the main phrase in it is that the little things can help, like saying 'I'm not feeling okay' . Which they can be, for someone who might  need to voice their problems in a bid to feel better. But for someone in a similar situation to me those 'little things' that can help are slightly different. Now the little things I'm referring to are the futile day to days worries that will distract me from the main problem that is truly bothering me. Skin. Some may say this is an unhealthy mind set to not talk about how I'm truly feeling about my skin issues. 

But here me out. 

I talk plenty about my skin. I've had some amazing conversations about skin with young and old people. But these conversations are discussions, I'm never truly conversing about my skin directly unless using it as an example. If I were to talk about skin even once a day, about how I'm feeling about it Id become bogged down with the fact that this is how I am now. This is how I look. That my dermatitis is the first thing people will notice. If I were to do this everyday those negative thoughts, those horrible sad thoughts would become me. No one wants that. I don't want that. Someone with acne will not spend time talking about their acne. And you know why? Because we have to live with seeing ourselves every day, when our skin is bad, it seems ten times worse to us.

The mental health of people with skin problems is on a knifes edge. On several occasions I've had meltdowns, breakdowns and so many moments of anxiety for no explainable reason. In August a week before I was due to go away on a break,  for some unknown reason I felt like I was under enormous pressure to get things done. What things do? When written down it didn't seem like a lot. That being said, it's the little things that seem so meaningless and silly to be worried about are what keep  my mental state from balancing over the  wrong edge of the knife, because if I let my skin become my main worry and focus Id be an inconsolable wreck majority of the time. 

The biggest challenge I've to face on a daily basis for the good of my mental health is to remind myself that I am not my skin. That my skin is just a part of me. Yes, it covers my whole body and yes I'm unfortunate enough to have it on my face. But you know what? if I stand up straight, hold my head up and keeping telling myself that I am a stronger presence than what's just on my face I can get through even the shittiest of days.

Sometimes a good cry once in a while really helps too.

But if I've learnt anything over the last 12 months it is that you've got to carry on doing what you love, focus on the better things even when it seems impossible, and fill your head with other thoughts and worrys other than skin issues and frustrations, iis the best way to keep your mind healthy.  And in recent times, I've found being honest about it, makes me feel less afraid and realising at some point I will find  someone who's going to accept me for how I look on good and bad days. 

You can not let your skin problems become you, you are technically made of up star dust and itty bitty galaxy molecules. We've got to remind ourselves that even with our outer layer looking the way it does, there are so many better wonderful beautiful things underneath that layer that shouldn't be locked away because you've let your skin have all the power. 

So tomorrow when you wake up and look in the mirror, don't look at your skin, just look at you. Because your skin doesn't make you you.