When I tell people my age I often get the classic "oh you're still a baby" remark that I role my eyes at whilst still remaining polite and a sport sheepish smile. But a lot can happen in 24 years. We all have different stories to tell, and we all have very different life paths with there own unique experiences and situations. In the last three years I've , to quote Kylie Jenner,
1. Want it? Ask for it. If you don’t, the answer will always be no and the door will always be closed. I used (still kinda am) to be so afraid of asking for what I want, but I want to remind you that you are important and so are your needs and wants. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to be here, so suck it up, breath and ask for that last rolo if that's what you're after. For me, it was following up on an event I really wanted to attend, if I hadn't asked I wouldn't have realised it's totally fine to ask. What's the worst that could happen? They'll say no, but they could say yes. So take the chance.
2. Change can be a good thing. You will soon realise that you already have all the tools you need to move forward with whatever change or obstacle you might face.
3. Take more risks. I want to be known as ballsy with my choices in my career and in my life. Life is not meant to be lived feeling constantly comfortable and secure. Get out of your comfort zone and use the feeling of fear to drive you into new and exciting chapters in your life.
4. Not everyone will care as much as you do, so sometimes, it's okay to not wear that big heart of yours on your sleeve. I can't think of a more important life lesson I've learnt the past few years than this. Not everyone holds the same value or sense of importance when it comes to friendships and relationships. I've learnt the hard way, when old friends didn't think certain things were important, or how I reacted to a situation was needed - when in my sense of the word friendship you'd do anything to ensure the other person is okay. Not everyone has the same beliefs, ideals, morals or concepts of certain words in life, and that's okay, all that means is that sometime reign it in if you care an awful lot, don't share your open heart to just anyone. Instead send that love and warmth to yourself, don't hand it out like a business card.
5. On that note, it's not your job to make everyone happy. They are plenty of people out there who genuinely revel in their misery, although they'll never admit this, nothing that you say or do will change this, and never believe you can change them. If all they needed was a pep talk and knowing someone cared enough to motivate them, after your first attempt at doing just this they would've changed their ways. I'm telling you now, cut your losses and go.
6. Don't just exist, live. We're all guilty of hating getting older, but each year is a triumph, each birthday is another reason to celebrate. I've never understand why some people don't celebrate their birthdays. I'm not the biggest fan of being the centre of attention at events, hence why the 21st kisses thing did not happen at my own, but to not look forward and be happy about another successful year of living is bonkers to me. Just celebrate, do something to toast the day your mother pushed you out into this glorious world. Even if it is el-Bridget-Jones style just you and glass of vino and a tub of Hagen Daas. It is still something.
7. Walk with your head a little higher, your back a little straighter. Exude confidence, and your mind will follow. Something I forgot for far too long to do, it's a funny thing standing up straight, you soon recognise your mind's perception of yourself heightens when you stand up straight, similar to the psychology behind the Superman Stance, pushing my shoulders back, holding my head high can make me feel good even on a bad day.
8. You don’t need a lot of friends, only ones that truly love, support & understand you. Life is complicated and constantly changing, and you need a solid circle of friends to ride it out with. Choose to spend your time with people who lift you up, just because you share history with them doesn't mean those relationship are any stronger than new friendships. So, don’t just choose the good ones, choose the best ones.
9. Your body is nearest thing to your temple on earth. Take care of it. I'm not one to measure my calories or stick to a specific diet, I exercise to eat, and eating is possibly one of my favourite pastimes. Eat, exercise and take care of your body like you love it, and it will love you back in return.
10. Be careful of what you say to yourself, because you're listening. I've called and told myself al sorts of
things in the last two years, I even convinced myself on my worst days that no one could ever
love me because of my skin. We need to stop putting ourselves down, become your own
biggest supporter, the type of supporter who wears their team colours with pride, brings a foam
finger to every single game and shouts the loudest.
11. Be grateful. List all the things you feel grateful, big and small. Just be grateful. Keep these things in mind and appreciate each moment.
12. Your parents wisdom is endless. This only becomes apparent after 21, and I say this age because in your twenties friendships and your life in general changes. They hate to say "I told you so", but most of the time they indeed were right. About what you ask? They're right about everything. Listen to them, learn from them.
13. Your voice matters. Your opinion is valid. Stand up for what you believe in and don’t let anyone make you feel inferior.
14. Be kind — always. When you’re tired and stressed and just trying to get through doing your errands when someone approaches you doing something that annoys you to no end — fight the urge to be rude, to make a sarcastic comment, to do anything that proves, in your own little mind, that you are somehow superior to everyone else around you.
"Like, realised stuff"
And as hard as it can be sometimes to gauge where you should be in terms of your life, as long as you take the good with the bad and remember to take something away with you from each experience I think we will all get on just fine. But there have definitely been moments that have resulted in this list, so here is my typical blogger pre birthday post of 24 things I have learnt by 241. Want it? Ask for it. If you don’t, the answer will always be no and the door will always be closed. I used (still kinda am) to be so afraid of asking for what I want, but I want to remind you that you are important and so are your needs and wants. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to be here, so suck it up, breath and ask for that last rolo if that's what you're after. For me, it was following up on an event I really wanted to attend, if I hadn't asked I wouldn't have realised it's totally fine to ask. What's the worst that could happen? They'll say no, but they could say yes. So take the chance.
2. Change can be a good thing. You will soon realise that you already have all the tools you need to move forward with whatever change or obstacle you might face.
3. Take more risks. I want to be known as ballsy with my choices in my career and in my life. Life is not meant to be lived feeling constantly comfortable and secure. Get out of your comfort zone and use the feeling of fear to drive you into new and exciting chapters in your life.
4. Not everyone will care as much as you do, so sometimes, it's okay to not wear that big heart of yours on your sleeve. I can't think of a more important life lesson I've learnt the past few years than this. Not everyone holds the same value or sense of importance when it comes to friendships and relationships. I've learnt the hard way, when old friends didn't think certain things were important, or how I reacted to a situation was needed - when in my sense of the word friendship you'd do anything to ensure the other person is okay. Not everyone has the same beliefs, ideals, morals or concepts of certain words in life, and that's okay, all that means is that sometime reign it in if you care an awful lot, don't share your open heart to just anyone. Instead send that love and warmth to yourself, don't hand it out like a business card.
5. On that note, it's not your job to make everyone happy. They are plenty of people out there who genuinely revel in their misery, although they'll never admit this, nothing that you say or do will change this, and never believe you can change them. If all they needed was a pep talk and knowing someone cared enough to motivate them, after your first attempt at doing just this they would've changed their ways. I'm telling you now, cut your losses and go.
6. Don't just exist, live. We're all guilty of hating getting older, but each year is a triumph, each birthday is another reason to celebrate. I've never understand why some people don't celebrate their birthdays. I'm not the biggest fan of being the centre of attention at events, hence why the 21st kisses thing did not happen at my own, but to not look forward and be happy about another successful year of living is bonkers to me. Just celebrate, do something to toast the day your mother pushed you out into this glorious world. Even if it is el-Bridget-Jones style just you and glass of vino and a tub of Hagen Daas. It is still something.
7. Walk with your head a little higher, your back a little straighter. Exude confidence, and your mind will follow. Something I forgot for far too long to do, it's a funny thing standing up straight, you soon recognise your mind's perception of yourself heightens when you stand up straight, similar to the psychology behind the Superman Stance, pushing my shoulders back, holding my head high can make me feel good even on a bad day.
8. You don’t need a lot of friends, only ones that truly love, support & understand you. Life is complicated and constantly changing, and you need a solid circle of friends to ride it out with. Choose to spend your time with people who lift you up, just because you share history with them doesn't mean those relationship are any stronger than new friendships. So, don’t just choose the good ones, choose the best ones.
9. Your body is nearest thing to your temple on earth. Take care of it. I'm not one to measure my calories or stick to a specific diet, I exercise to eat, and eating is possibly one of my favourite pastimes. Eat, exercise and take care of your body like you love it, and it will love you back in return.
11. Be grateful. List all the things you feel grateful, big and small. Just be grateful. Keep these things in mind and appreciate each moment.
12. Your parents wisdom is endless. This only becomes apparent after 21, and I say this age because in your twenties friendships and your life in general changes. They hate to say "I told you so", but most of the time they indeed were right. About what you ask? They're right about everything. Listen to them, learn from them.
13. Your voice matters. Your opinion is valid. Stand up for what you believe in and don’t let anyone make you feel inferior.
14. Be kind — always. When you’re tired and stressed and just trying to get through doing your errands when someone approaches you doing something that annoys you to no end — fight the urge to be rude, to make a sarcastic comment, to do anything that proves, in your own little mind, that you are somehow superior to everyone else around you.
That’s a strong urge to fight, but you have to. Kindness begets kindness. Kindness opens
doors. Kindness makes you a better person.
15. You are the most important person in your life, do not give that power away.
16. Every difficult and positive situation you have been through is an opportunity to learn and grow, accept where you are, and believe what is for you won't pass you by.
17. Everything is possible until proven otherwise. If you believe in yourself you can achieve it, your mind is more powerful than you think, and sometimes the only thing standing in your way is yourself.
18. Always do what makes you come alive. Whatever your past year has brought, whatever your next year will bring, never fail to honour your heart and do what makes you feel happy and alive.
19. Your worst day only last 24 hours. Take tomorrow with a fresh mind and recovered heart, leave whatever happened yesterday behind. Consider it like lost post, posted yesterday, but got lost on it's way to never burden a new day with yesterdays happenings. ( Am I trying too hard to be profound? ) Just try not to dwell on negative feelings, a mind of negative thoughts can weigh you down for days. Trust me.
20. Don't eat the yellow snow. This is regards beauty and skin products (a huge part of my life the last few years) Just because someone else says it looks and smells good to them does not mean it should or ever will look or smell good to you. Everyone is different, and when it comes to beauty products just because it has hype around it and everyone is praising means it will be good for you. Define your own beauty standards and find what works for you, even that means 12 products or 2, figure out what beauty means to you without succumbing to the pressures of the 'online society' to conform you body and appearance.
21. Continue to chase your dreams. The best way to ensure that your dreams will come true is to turn them into goals and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. I never thought I'd be in the position I am in right now two years ago regards my career, and all it took was one email in my final year of college to get a single internship that kickstarted it all. Even with a side hustle you can still achieve what you set out to. Nothing will happen though if you don't take the first step, does it feel too risky? Go back and read #3 right now.
22. To think " I deserve better" does not make you a nacisstic ego monster. It means you know your worth. Never settle. This affects all areas of your life. However, I have had just one too many friends of late tell me of incidents where their friends from home have told them that their standards are too high (regards men) , well instantly I saw red. No one should ever tell you what you deserve in a partner, if you want to date a Greek adonis-like man who can build treehouses with his bare hands and will cook for you every night , you find that man ( If he has a brother can you give him my number please)
15. You are the most important person in your life, do not give that power away.
16. Every difficult and positive situation you have been through is an opportunity to learn and grow, accept where you are, and believe what is for you won't pass you by.
17. Everything is possible until proven otherwise. If you believe in yourself you can achieve it, your mind is more powerful than you think, and sometimes the only thing standing in your way is yourself.
18. Always do what makes you come alive. Whatever your past year has brought, whatever your next year will bring, never fail to honour your heart and do what makes you feel happy and alive.
19. Your worst day only last 24 hours. Take tomorrow with a fresh mind and recovered heart, leave whatever happened yesterday behind. Consider it like lost post, posted yesterday, but got lost on it's way to never burden a new day with yesterdays happenings. ( Am I trying too hard to be profound? ) Just try not to dwell on negative feelings, a mind of negative thoughts can weigh you down for days. Trust me.
20. Don't eat the yellow snow. This is regards beauty and skin products (a huge part of my life the last few years) Just because someone else says it looks and smells good to them does not mean it should or ever will look or smell good to you. Everyone is different, and when it comes to beauty products just because it has hype around it and everyone is praising means it will be good for you. Define your own beauty standards and find what works for you, even that means 12 products or 2, figure out what beauty means to you without succumbing to the pressures of the 'online society' to conform you body and appearance.
21. Continue to chase your dreams. The best way to ensure that your dreams will come true is to turn them into goals and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. I never thought I'd be in the position I am in right now two years ago regards my career, and all it took was one email in my final year of college to get a single internship that kickstarted it all. Even with a side hustle you can still achieve what you set out to. Nothing will happen though if you don't take the first step, does it feel too risky? Go back and read #3 right now.
22. To think " I deserve better" does not make you a nacisstic ego monster. It means you know your worth. Never settle. This affects all areas of your life. However, I have had just one too many friends of late tell me of incidents where their friends from home have told them that their standards are too high (regards men) , well instantly I saw red. No one should ever tell you what you deserve in a partner, if you want to date a Greek adonis-like man who can build treehouses with his bare hands and will cook for you every night , you find that man ( If he has a brother can you give him my number please)
23. Embrace your weirdness, it is what makes us all unique.
24. Say "I love you" all the time. To yourself, to the people you love, people need to hear it.
Is there anything you would add to this list, doesn't anything here resound with you? let me know in the comments below or on my Instagram @denim_and_silk
24. Say "I love you" all the time. To yourself, to the people you love, people need to hear it.
Is there anything you would add to this list, doesn't anything here resound with you? let me know in the comments below or on my Instagram @denim_and_silk
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