Medication Update So Far // #poppingcyclosporine

Discussing my medication and with that my looks, has never been a problem for me. If anything I’ve felt empowered from discussing my dermatitis and ongoing treatment for it over the last three years. The last year in particular has flown by, I made the decision to postpone immune suppressant treatment, wrote a small book also known as my thesis, I started my immune supressant  treatment, I finished college and then started Roaccutane to battle the acne that was brought on by the dermatitis treatment. I even gotten myself an internship, and finished it, and now you may or may not know I'm currently on crutches on bed rest with grade 2 ligament tear query for my posterior cruciate ligament and lateral ligament in my knee.

Amidst all the crazy of finishing college, helping to set up our graduate exhibition, and starting my adult life ( pfft ) I began been taking a new treatment for my dermatitis. Prior to christmas, I made the decision I wasn’t mentally ready to start a new treatment, especially one so serious, so I decided to hang on till my college deadlines weren’t so stressful so I could let myself get used to starting Cyclosporine and not be so afraid of any of the possible side effects. 

I have now been on Cyclosporine since the beginning of February , and the improvement in my dermatitis has been utterly phenomenal. The drugs, or medication in this case, really do work. I have had a few side effects, but nothing that had me overly worrying. I had a week of major dizziness and weak spells, my stomach was all over the place for a while, I got and still am getting muscle cramps and pangs, I had a week of heavy nosebleeds. My pharmacists who has been overseeing me the last year, as I haven't been attending anyone other than my dermatology clinic, basically told me anything that wasn’t normal for me or seemed odd was/is more than likely a direct side effect of the Cyclosporine - the side effects that are listed are so long its ridiculous. But this medication is no joke, not in the slightest which is why I took my time deciding on when I wanted to start it. 

Cyclosporine is an autoimmune supressant, traditionally it is used in organ transplant operations. The medication essentially turns your immune system off allowing your body to accept the new organ without interference from your immune system. It was recently found  that it has become an option for severe atopic dermatitis sufferers.t comes with some possible long-term side effects including kidney and liver failure. Initially I had to get routine blood tests to ensure my kidney is functioning normally.

Before I started the Cyclosproine I had narrowly escaped falling down the rabbit hole known as the Internet. I let an inkling of belief begin that somehow there was another solution out there for dermatitis, my Instagram feed was drowning in other girls suffering with the exact same thing as me preaching about going drug free, moisturiser free and hash tagging every photo with TSW. My mind kept thinking that somewhere on the internet there was a secret society who were hyping up the concept of self healing for dermatitis, that there was a secret cure that all the consultants and specialists I had been to visit, were hiding from me. Unknown to my parents I went without moisturising for two weeks as an experiment, I knew it wouldn't be long enough to see any results but I knew it would be long enough to distinguish the fires of belief that somehow your body can heal itself from such a condition as dermatitis. If anything it made my skin much worse in that short period of time, and I knew everything I was reading and looking at online was complete and utter baloney. 

It just proved that the database of medical science is massive and extremely complicated. Medical school isn’t easy to get into for a reason. Those who enter the field must be prepared to absorb and utilise a ridiculously large amount of information. Sure enough, though, they don’t have all the answers, but that’s because humanity doesn’t have the answers. The collective amount of information and knowledge in the medical system has proven useful and successfully treated a wide number of lethal and deadly diseases, but our understanding of more complex, chronic diseases is still in its early stages. Infections are easy to treat. Destroy the invaders and things go back to normal. But with most chronic diseases the enemy is our own body, and in that instance it's learning as individuals to manage these conditions and learning how our bodies react. 

For me, being on cyclosporine made my final few months in college a lot easier, and to think that when I finish the course of medication I have been given there is a possibility my immune system may have settled and decide to take a vacation from attacking itself is insane to think. But like anything there is also a chance that the dermatitis may come back. But I am happy to accept that right now I'm somewhat dermatitis free ( follow up post #poppingroaccutane ) and what comes next will happen in due time and the right thing to do is deal with that next stage when it happens rather than anticipating the 'what ifs' and getting myself worked up and scared. 

And I guess that's one of the fundamental lessons I've learned through out this experience so far, it is okay to be scared. It's human to be scared, but sometimes to let yourself be scared of things that haven't even happened yet can be over powering and anyone facing a lifelong illness or a chronic condition needs and should live in the moment, it all sounds very sentimental but it is easy to get caught up and worked up about the future, the best thing to do is just stop and enjoy how things are currently and not how they will be.